HPF logo

# 128, 10th Cross, Esther Enclave,

Horamavu, Bengaluru - 560043

Working Hours

Mon - Sun 9.00 - 18.00

Family Counseling

Family Counseling

Family Counseling

“Addiction / Alcoholism is a one of a kind condition that not only affects the sufferer but all those whose lives he touches.” This quote from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous would resonate with the family of every suffering addict / alcoholic. Guilt, Anger, Detachment, Abuse, Neglect, Isolation, Fear are just some of the words that may describe the loved ones of a client. If you as a family member feel that the mere abstinence from the substance of abuse would work a miracle in your life then you need to re-look.

We at HPF feel its our utmost priority to educate the family of the client on the multi faceted nature of this condition. You are as much a part of the recovery program as the client. Our counselors will be working closely with you at every stage of the treatment program to not only aid in his recovery but to also help you firmly establish a ground for a total healing of the family.

You need no longer feel betrayed. We remain invested in your needs and through regular Educational/Awareness and Family Counseling Sessions serve to empower you. Introduction to Self-Help groups such as Al-Anon, regular follow-ups and

Process of Treatment

Why is it called a family disease?

The addict/alcoholic has the disease of addiction, but that stresses the family to the breaking point, impacts the stability of the home, the family's unity, mental health, physical health, finances, and overall family dynamics. It affects all who live under the same roof of the home, hence its termed as a family disease.

Living with a loved one in active addiction can put family members under unusual stress. Normal routines are constantly being interrupted by unexpected or even frightening kinds of experiences, that are part of living with alcohol and drug abuse. Living with an addict causes severe trauma to everyone within the home. The family begins to disintegrate and resentment festers.

Building awareness with the family on the disease.

A person who is actively addicted can be incredibly convincing and manipulative, to the point where family members tends to find it hard to say no. The lies that an addict tells happen so frequently that it can be challenging to decide when they are being truthful. For example, it is common for addicts to say they need money for groceries or rent; but it is also possible that they are actually going to spend that money on drugs or alcohol. It is common for families to want to find a solution. Even though they have good intentions, family members who do not realise the difference between enabling and helping; may end up being part of the problem. Family members tend to enable addicts since they are not sure how they can actually help. Family members may bend, manipulate and deny reality in their attempt to maintain the family prestige. This also hampers recovery of the addict/alcoholic.

More often than not, families think that they can control the addict/alcoholic. Enabling happens when the family and friends of an addict support their addiction through their behaviours and thoughts. They prevent the addict from facing the consequences of their actions.

Enabling does not just create a lenient attitude toward alcohol or drug use. It also prevents the addict from choosing to get help. Enabled addicts eventually lose faith in themselves, and do not have any respect for their loved ones who allowed them to keep using either.

Confronting the family and the addict/alcoholic. Why it is done?

What is being said by the addict/alcoholic, most often doesn’t match up with what family members sense, feel, or see right in front of their eyes. Denial patterns are the forte of addicts/alcoholics. In order to break the denials and bring the addict/alcoholic to a realization of his addiction, the destruction he/she has caused all around etc; a Fact Session is held between the addict/alcoholic and their families and the group of other clients in the rehab.

The session is conducted by the counselor and all the cards are laid out on the table. This could be an emotionally charged atmosphere for the family members, as usually a can of worms is unearthed; hidden underlying issues which act as triggers for using/drinking are thrashed out. After this, there is a time for reflection for a day, and after this important session, most of the denials and beliefs are addressed and the addict/alcoholic is guided into recovery.

Steps the families have to take to ensure recovery.

Setting boundaries – Family members need to set clear boundaries for the addict/alcoholic; to reduce room for relapses.

Not making excuses anymore – Making excuses for the addict/alcoholic; only encourages them to continue their manipulative behavior.

Family involvement in ensuring that the addict/alcoholic attend the trusted NA/AA meetings; is a must, because it is at these meetings that the addict/alcoholic has the freedom to share with other members, and is assured of total anonymity. It also helps the addict/alcoholic to learn from the experiences of others, who are facing similar issues.

Addiction therapy is a lifelong commitment for the addict and their family.

The family communication exercise. Why it is done?

This is an important communication exercise for the mental health of both the addict/alcoholic and the parents/spouse/partner/children. This exercise is done by the addiction counselor with the addict/alcoholic and the family, to help improve communication among family members, rebalance the family dynamics and give family members a safe environment to express their anger, fear and other concerns. It is perfect as a healing medium for distraught family members. The goal of communication exercise is to start relating with family. It is also the space where you do turn expectations into demands.

Importance of Recovery being a life-long process

This may be surprising to some, but sobriety isn’t just about quitting drugs and alcohol. That is only the tip of the iceberg. You have to look at, and acknowledge old behavioral patterns that no longer serve you in recovery – the old lie is dead. You’ll have to work through toxic friendships, work on other emotional sobriety areas like gossiping, honesty, and healthy ways to express yourself. This type of work can seem daunting and may take years to address. Recovery is all about finding yourself, learning a new way of life, and being the best version of yourself that you can be. This keeps you happy, joyous and free.

Recovery isn’t something you set your sight on, achieve, and forget about. It’s a lifelong process that is difficult, but rewarding. Recovery requires patience, diligence, hard work, and humility. You will always be a student in recovery. There will come a time when you spread your knowledge to others, but you will always be improving and progressing in your personal recovery that is “you can only keep what you have, by giving it away.”

It’s not a choice you make once, recovery is a continuous choice that you must make every day, even on the hard days when you are tested. Unfortunately, addiction is not something that is just cured after treatment. It’s a disease that could come back to haunt you at anytime. The threat of alcohol and drug use will always be out there large as life, beckoning you. It is up to you to use your new coping skills and your recovery program, to stay strong in your sobriety. The worst day in recovery does not equal the best day of using/drinking. Recovery is not a destination, it is your destiny.

Beyond abstinence, recovery involves

Participating in life activities that are healthy and meaningful, based on your needs, interests, and values.

Making changes in how you respond to your thoughts and emotions—especially to those who are uncomfortable and in pain

Discovering and developing parts of yourself of which you had been unaware, rediscovering those parts of yourself that were buried beneath the rubble of active addiction;

Developing new patterns of living with conscious awareness, and moving toward mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.

If you need to speak to someone right now, please phone our help line number 098440 14881